Monday, February 15, 2010


Com pasejar pel carrer a Ukraina.

Primer Haurás de fer pases petites, molt petites. Si, et vas a sentir idiota. Et fará vergonya, peró en el moment k descuidis de vigilar et cauràs, I l’estat de atenció medical a aquest pais fa riure, I por. Jo fa unes dies vaig tenir un malson on vaig trencar una cama I vaig tenir k suicidar-me en comptes de anar-me a l’hospital.

El cas és k si no et caus si k et vas a mullar. Els carrers són plens de llacs I rius, I si no en tens un ull acustombrat (com em manca jo) és molt dificil distinguir entre terra, neu, gel I aigua. Jo sempre acabo escollint un tros k em sembla terra ferma, i sempre acaba sent l’aigua més profunda.

Per aixó, quan pensis anar a un lloc I estas calculant l´hora de trobada, multiplica´l per dues.

Altre cosa. Potser k ets d’un pais, com jo, on no ens toquem al carrer. De fet fem esforços per NO tocar-nos. En canvi, a Ukraina, et dones el sentit de k ets l’unica k esta fent l’esforç. Comences a pensar, ¨I qué? Si no em moc van a deixar les altres k ens xoquem?

Si ets com jo, d´una societat molt quieta I ben educada, sentirás vergonya I por al intentar l’experiment de deixar-ho anar. Un consell. No has de seguir caminant en el moment d’impacte. Poc a poc, homme. Fes com jo. Quan es pot preveure l’accident imminent i realment has cansat de cedir sempre el pas, peró no trobas els pebrots necessaris per a xocar-te directament amb el teu company de carrer, a l’ultim moment ajuda si et paris. És molt senzill, I no fa tanta por. Simplement et pares en mig del carrer I deixes k l’altre et xoqui. Com el mar contra les roques. La mietat ho farán, l’altre mietat, miraclement, te esquivaran. Després d’algunes dies tindrás el coratge per a seguir caminant normalment I donar un bon cop als senyors que es creuen els amos de l’espai públic.

hi ha una jerarqui del carrer. Per ho que he vist. Una persona de la meva edat, més o menys, no et donará problemes. Tampóc els hommes, normalment. Peró les dones d’una certa edat no volen canviar-se de sentit, res, mai. Tenen els seus destincions pensats I res va a fer-les pausar.

Com tenir electricitat (електричества) a Ukraina

No intentar-ho en temps d’elecions.

Rezar?

Valentine's Day Special.




So there is this great market by my house. Everybody calls it the new market and it has a creepily ornate entrance on one side. The words “decadence” and, well “creepy” are brought to mind.

Also, I haven’t gone to bed yet, since 24 hrs ago so don’t mind me if this is a little disjointed.

Anyway this market is great. It’s a lot like the ones in south and north America except that everyone wears lots more clothes and gloves. I feel really guilty that I don’t go there more often, actually, but it just doesn’t seem economical when I have no idea of Russian. Ex: I can ask how much something costs but I cannot understand any of the answers. Even the numbers I “know” I don’t understand when they say them.

I like buying best from the asian ladies, because, hey, they’re foreign too. This morning I went, which felt nice. I haven’t been really awake and doing something at 7 or 8 in the morning in a long time. And the fact that I haven’t bee

n to bed yet means I just get to keep tallying my points on my points chart for today. I’m going to get a great score.

Okay, let me start again. So while I was typing this morning from about five thirty am to eight I saw it get light and was filled with happiness. Today is a beautiful day. I decided to go the market because yesterday I spent too long talking w/ the librarian and the two sashas (one male one female) at the lit. club so I didn’t have a chance to go to the market to look for project supplies. I resisted the call of bed and went out, and now feel refreshed from the cold air and ready to stay awake longer. So what did I do at this new market? I bought great yarn and some sequins and some needles (all words I had looked up and drew vocab for but didn’t end up using the words at all). Then I tried to buy a placemat, a gold placemat, but they wouldn’t break my fifty. So I walked the long way around the block (brain melting) and bought some cheese at the big grocery, обоже…something and they gave me change and I saw all the valentine’s day balloons and was reminded once again of the ridiculous use of plastic bags in this country.

Some of them they are dyign to get rid of. I bought cheese and it’s already wrapped in plastic, right? Then they put it in a small plastic bag. Then they ask you if you want a big plastic bag. They do this, normally, by saying “ пакет?” which is easy to remember. Sometimes they use different words so the first thing the cashier at a store asks you just know it will always be this question and say da or nyet depending on whether you desire a packet or not. If you say no they will still put whatever you are buying into a smaller, thinner plastic bag. If you say yes they will take out a big old bag to put over the small, thin plastic bag. Now, but the catch is if you buy a lot of groceries, for example 2 liters of juice, a jar of tomato sauce, two liters of milk, cereal, oats, a bread cake (that was bad by the way) and a big box of baking soda, oh and some onions and bananas and they are like, “пакет?” or more realistically they are like “афрщш ауршщзер фщывтащфзеруцзкцщш фыщшреыпа?” and you are like, ha, I know what you are aksing anyway and then you think, “This would be the time, right? cuase how will I carry all this such and not without some bags?” AH HA. But what she pulls out is ONE GIANT BAG. I think this must happen NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU BUY. So she proceeds to put the milk, juice, baking soda, tomato sauce, onions, bread cake etc etc and everything else into this giant bag and you like, “And what? I’m just going to sling this over my shoulder?” keeping your center of gravity while carrying this somewhere on the iciest streets ever invented- well. I guess that’s enough.

So anyway I was feeling guilty for never buying food at the new market as I wnet about buying these sequins (бёл…. I don’t remember) etc especially because I really do love pickled thigns and we don’t eat them that much at home. So I stopped to buy something but I played it safe by going to one of the asian ladies. I feel more comfortable buying from them because they use the more familiar social custom of looking at you and asking what your are going to buy (I love the security of someone assuming that you are buying something from the get-go) instead of ignoring you completely. So buy some pickled beet, which she even lets me try and it’s great, of course, but sketchier than a class of university artists but whatever. We’ll deal with that later. But as she’s telling me something else I notice that she has electric blue eyelashes! How impressive! I tell her they are kraseevaya and she’s totally unphased. Like yeah yeah. And I add that I will take some of the beets and she warms up a bit. She even shows me with her fingers the number of grivnas she si asking me for which makes me fall in love with her a little bit because suddenly her пять actually sounds like пять in my head. Anyway. So it was great.

Then walking back to my apartment I realized htat I had never walked down that street before noon before, nor in the sun. everything was so beautiful that I wanted to walk around more, but also wanted to get back here and unload my booty. Y’all ought to see the watercolor and acrylic painting I’m working on. They are not beautiful but they are exciting, I’m using some things I never have before, and they are going fast which is always pleasing. But I need a bigger watercolor brush.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

OMG all the snow is melting off the balcony. Today is 36 degrees!



Someone told me a story someone else told them recently. He was asking a guy in a bar about the upcoming elections and what he thought about the candidates. This guy looks around for a way to explain, and pulls out two cigarettes. "These are the candidates," he says. "They are two different cigarettes but they both give you cancer."
We went to the beach recently and it was the best beach I have ever seen. Ever. It was beautiful. As you can see pictures all around.
Georgian Restaurant Menu Delicacies:
1. A red string bean, a nut, greens, the Georgian Seasonings, an onions, garlic
2. Female Quail of Tobacco
3. Language under Mayonnaise
4. An eggplant, a walnut, the Georgian Seasonings
5. Bread the Basket!!!!!!!! (exclamation points not mine)


On another separate note a guy I met told us this story. Imagine it in a scottish accent. "So I went out the other night and ate dinner and then asked where the bathroom was. This guy takes me back through the kitchen into a back room the staff use. It's all piled high with potatoes and onions and is where they store all the food. And there's a hole in the middle of the floor. I'm like, oh god, don't show me that. I just ate here!"
In the photo below maybe you're looking at it wondering if those people out on the pier are going to jump in. They are. Two of them already did. Three of them further down the beach are just walking around with no shirt or pants on.


Hmm, can I include another random quote? "People in this country have no fucking concept of what a sandwhich is."
So I am this close [fingers slightly apart] from getting an apartment. Unfortunately not in the center. We looked at one really close to my friend's house but the guy answered the door in his bathrobe, and was also middle aged, which is widely considered the sketchiest age. So I could see a lot of awkwardness there. My friend was like, "Living there would be a very Russian experience, but I would be more comfortable if
you lived with a girl." I agreed, although it turns out I will probably be living with two brothers who are medical students. I didn't meet them but was assured they are stellar people.
I also looked at a really cute place that I could have to myself for not much more, but I feel it will be better if I don't live alone or I will never associate with anyone. This may force me to meet people. Or I may just hate it. It shouldn't be too bad though because I am taking a pretty huge room. So I look forward to getting that sorted out.
I went to a play with my friend Masha last night, and then went back to their house again and we watched Dazed and Confused and An Education. It's really probably better I'll be moving far away because otherwise I would spend my life at their house and they would get very very sick of me. Oh! Also did I mention John runs a literature club for people learning English and I went to the last meeting and got to meet a LIBRARIAN? It was at a small library that is run by the US consulate or something. I think once I get myself together today and can face a world outside of bed and writing on this blog I will go see her and ask what she does etc. Maybe I should go do that now. Okay I also went out a few days ago and our party went back to another friend's house were the cops came and had to be heavily bribed because we were making too much noise and I didn't have my passport on me. Until later.

I am obsessed with the song Made in the Dark by Hot Chip and Lost Someone sung by Cat Power.